Balance

Move in with your partner? Sure! But wait.

Moving in with your partner can be considered quite a big step. It elevates your relationship, it brings you closer to each other, you official say “That’s the person I wanna spend my life with”. You move your books, your clothes, your home – sometimes not only a few streets but even to a new town.

That’s why you should put some thought into it first, but luckily there are some perfectly good signs and guiding points that will tell you when you are ready.

How do you know that you are in for this step?

  1. You are spending most of your time with him/ her anyways: You actually didn’t want to move too fast in your relationship, but somehow the days you counted to see him/her again got less and less? Well, thats a pretty good sign that you should move together – if you are there most of the time anyways, it is just logical that you start to divide also the space that you both occupy in a normal manner. And in that case you already know if you are compatible regarding your habits, your chaos and potential tantrums.
  2. You feel comfortable at the thought that some kind of routine might establish itself, when you move together: I don’t know how much sex you have now, who does the dishes and who cooks – but if you move together, these things will kind of regulate themselves. I assure you, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have spontanious sex anymore as soon as you move in, or that you will always have to do the dishes – but chances are that one of you two is home more often, or has more time at his hands and might therefore be stuck with more chores than the other. Note: A routine doesn’t have to be something bad. I love the feeling of knowing that I will wake up next to him the following morning. And planning your weeks gets a lot easier too! But consider the aspect of routine and what it means to you BEFORE you actual develop it.
  3. You have talked about the finances: Okay, I know I’m going to be a pain in the ass here, but that is really crucial. I don’t know your or your partners financial situation, and that’s not important – important is that YOU know your and your partners finances and that you both agree on a way to do them – rent, electricity, food included.
  4. You feel like its the right thing to do: We shouldn’t always do just “what we want”, “when we want it” and “how we want it” – but moving together with your partner is something deeply personal and the only two people who have to agree on this are you two. So, your friends think it’s too soon? And your grandma thinks you should only move in with someone if you’re married? And your parents think it’s not time for you to leave home? – Well, screw them. Listen to other opinions (if you can’t afford to live alone, well, that might have to be taken into consideration), deal with constructive feedback, weigh your options – but if you are independent, have thought it through and are absolutely convinced that you want to do it, for god’s sake, move together. It’s your life and you should spend as much time with the person you love you possibly can.  

Quick checklist:

  • You already know his life style and he knows yours
  • You are happy with creating a routine
  • You have talked about “who pays what and when”
  • You are convinced that it is the right thing to do (and have considered possible difficulties ahead)

Living together and creating a space for just you two is a wonderful thing – and one that will make you happy for a long time. Don’t be scared to follow your heart on this one!

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