...and you are not a bore for pointing that out!
It doesn’t matter whether you are female or male, I am pretty sure that you too have been in a situation already, where someone told a “joke” and you just didn’t think it was funny, because it was against all your values. Everyone has a different trigger. For me it’s jokes on rape culture, for you it might be jokes on racism or blondes.
Yet, many don’t dare to speak out, if they feel uncomfortable. It is too much ingrained in our brains that, if we don’t like those jokes we are “boring”, we are too dumb to “understand the joke”, we are too “serious” in life.
All those people, who call you that for standing by your values, have no clue what values actually are. Am I a humorless person? No. And I can take a good joke. As I said already before, everyone has different boundaries, and for me, personally, a joke still can be funny when it is on women, or maybe on stereotypes of women. But where the fun stops is as soon as it belittles or negates rape culture. Popular examples are jokes on the #metoo movement. Jokes like those just aren’t appropriate as they don’t aim against a stereotype, but against a very important movement and try to undermine it this way.
I don’t know what makes me more upset -men or women who utter jokes of that kind. Men don’t have a clue (okay, I know some do, but most don’t) of what women experience, often daily. Them telling me that they need those jokes, because it is a pettifogging discussion and they use this way to make it acceptable for them, is one of the least understandable things I have heard this year. Many managed to make the discussion about them once again – about how difficult it might be now to pay women a compliment or how to act in public. (Gosh, it is not that difficult. Out with your date, landing in bed, complimenting her – fine. At work, making remarks about the cleavage of your co-worker – not fine. Context might help sometimes.). Turning the focus of the discussion on them being the actual victim is however just proving patriarchy’s power.
Equally, I don’t understand women, who belittle rape culture. I don’t know if it is some kind of self-defense-mechanism, a way to deal with the situation or pure misogyny on their side, but, as I have stressed already some times, if not even we are on our side, who is?
Back to the actual topic. I know that in our society, jokes are regarded as something that has to be accepted, no matter who is hurt or aimed at during the process. The insults and jokes (once again) are on you, if you point out the (negative) significance of making fun of various topics.
Don’t let this stand in your way of being true to yourself! The more often you stand up for your values and views, the more those people will respect you for it, will maybe start to think about it too and in the best case change their behaviour for the better. If you manage to change the mind of just one single person, you already succeeded in your quest and staying true to yourself paid out.