Confidence, Feminism

The BS in “Fashion Men hate on Women”

While I think it is great that there are so many women out there who try to convey their knowledge and feelings for style and fashion to others, I have a huge problem with one certain category. Every now and then a video or post blobs up that seems to warn other women of the horrid fashion trends, which men hate.

Okay, so let’s get this straight. Men hate a trend which is worn by women, produced for women, came to life through women. And someone really thinks that is reason for us not to wear it anymore? Have i missed something?

Well, it is common knowledge that trends are something everyone can follow or not. As with every other field of interest it can be liked, disliked, followed or not followed, be a hobby or not. But why should the notion of men be given any consideration in this question?

Let’s look at other areas. If I like a certain sport, say tennis, do I have to stop because men don’t think it’s sexy? If I like a certain category of books, say thrillers, do I have to stop reading it, because men think a woman should not read that kind of stuff? Can you only imagine the outrage that would sweep over any man who would consider saying this?

The sad thing is: this is not the men’s fault! Don’t get me wrong here; men, as women too, have every right to declare what they like and what not. If someone hates ballerina, the colour orange or leather shorts, tell me. Men saying what they like and don’t like is not the problem at hand. They should never feel intimidated to not speak their mind, and have every right to an own opinion (obviously!).

The problem this time purely lies within ourselves and it’s twofold:

1.Women still believe that they dress for the male sex – while I really do not know who or what you dress for, I strongly believe that it ultimately should be for yourself. If you know your boyfriend loves that red dress, you go out in the club and want to show some booty or like the admiring glances you get for those shoes, no, there is nothing wrong with that. Looking for the admiration and validation of others in outfits you love is a quite natural thing I’d say. It does become a problem though if you stop wearing the clothes you love out of fear of what others may think.

Checklist:

  • You love your outfit and the reaction you get for it
  • You feel sharp as hell
  • You buy the gorgeous dress, already having in mind how stunning you will look in it

>>> Fine

  • You do not wear your beloved boots to the concert because you think your friends won’t like them
  • Violet is your favorite colour but  you never dare to wear it in public, afraid of comments
  • You love your legs in that dress but you fear others could deem you “slutty”

>>> Not fine

Love yourself. On the road to empowerment this is a crucial step. No one can tell you to wear anything you don’t like, but try not to be intimidated by what you think men or other women don’t like on you. You are most beautiful in outfits you rock also with your mindset!

2.Women belive that they have to educate others to make them more admirable for men – now while I get that this is probably happening with the best of intentions, namely the preventing of “embarrassing” mistakes on the first date or whatsoever, it’s the wrong way to approach the topic. Advice, yes, help, yes, bans, no.

I think there are a lot of young women out there who could need a bit of guidance. Growing up in our society isn’t easy. Sure, there is the topic of feminism and empowerment on the one hand, but imagine the numerous other instances young women get their information from – photoshopped magazine, mindless TV Shows, a lot of institutions claiming to have developed yet another product that makes them more desirable, slimmer or sexy. They do not need someone they look up to telling them that what is of utmost importance in their choices of style is the opinion others have on them.

Let’s make fashion, lifestyle and personal blogs not another source of insecurities and prohibitions!

Sure, to guide and to inspire is not as easy as to simply slam down 5 rules on how women should dress. But I believe that everyone who writes on the internet, posts on instagram or snaps, should be aware that her words can and maybe will have a certain influence on someone. 

It’s important to stop the spread of even more bullshit on what women are supposed to do, wear, or think, and start supporting an autonomous empowerment. Personal style and one’s mindset towards it is a good opening!

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